Tweet by zephyr_z9

September 13, 2025

> be Google in 2017 > small team drops “Attention Is All You Need” on arXiv > execs nod politely, go back to selling ads for socks > let Transformer gather dust for 5 yrs like a vintage Beanie Baby > be Noam Shazeer, OG wizard > quits, builds AI-boyfriend app “https://t.co/KRAcLptABl” > millions of lonely hearts pay $9.99 to e-date 2B from Nier > Google HR: “any chance you wanna come back?” > Shazeer: “busy, my e-gf is calling” > 2022, OpenAI drops ChatGPT > world loses its mind, Google stock does bungee jump > Sundar holds all-hands: “guys, we need a response by Q2” > team ships Bard in 3 weeks using 12 interns, 2000 TPUv4s, and pure panic > Bard hallucinates that the earth is flat > Wall Street: “sell sell sell” > Sergey hears the screams from his yacht > flies back on a carbon-negative jet, reclaims unofficial crown > merges GoogleBrain + DeepMind like Dragon Ball fusion > axes Bard, slaps Gemini sticker on everything > Gemini launches, immediately generate a black Abraham Lincoln > Twitter dubs them “Bing’s woke cousin” > Shazeer finally answers HR’s 47th email >“fine, but I want my own parking spot and unlimited LaCroix” > returns, waves wand, Gemini 2 & 2.5 drop > context window so big it can summarise the Bible + your group chat > Google processing 980T tokens/month, equal to 40 % of human SMS traffic > someone sneezes “Nano Banana” into the Play Store > overnight it’s #1 app, turns ur selfie into big-tiddy anime waifu

Author
zephyr_z9
Date
September 13, 2025
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